The Kristmas Customer

Why is it that a guy can remember the name of the tight end for the Green Bay Packers that scored the winning touchdown in the 2003 Super bowl, but can’t remember his wifes Birthday. Let alone her sizes and dare I say her taste in , well anything. OK you’re pretty sure that she prefers red when it comes to tool boxes and naturally Delta skil saws are her preference when doing construction. But guys, what is so hard about knowing the least little thing about your significant other? There are men that do pay attention, but why does being John Wayne include a deep lack of knowledge about what your wife or girl friend would want for Christmas?
I bring this up after many years in retail seeing a battalion of men stumble into our retail store one after another, with what I call “deer in the headlights” look on their face. They shop once a year, and not really sure why! They go for something safe jewelry, because to pick out clothing would require even more work, the rare knowledge of her sizes.

Now I will brag a little here , but I do not consider me that unusual , or work extra hard at knowing the least little thing about my wife, but I do pretty well.
I must say as much as I considered my father to be a great guy, he was just as bad as many others.
He once confided in me a story that finally even embarrassed the John Wayne of our family. My Father after many years of vain attempts to buy things for my Mother he finally gave up. He told me that year after year everything he would buy would go back as he called “trading stock”  for the after Christmas returns. So he decided why go through the effort, he finally went into the Nordstrom ladies department, ask one of the sales girls to pick out some things according to his budget, her choice, and then proceed directly to the gift wrap department. He had no idea what he had bought, but there were always presents under the tree for my Mother. Until one year, you see this kind of apathy leads to more apathy, and one year he forgot his trip to Nordstrom. My Mother was devastated, and at the time, we kids were to young to buy for her and she had nothing under the tree. Now before you judge him too harshly, that man went to a job he hated for thirty two years straight, and never called in sick. He always made sure we had food on the table and a roof over our head. Born during the Depression, he knew that the essentials were a little more important than a few presents under the tree. But what is your excuse? We have know fifty years of the greatest prosperity on the planet, and you don’t even know your wifes dress size.
One year a good friend of mine wanted me to go Christmas shopping with him. I found out that he wanted me to help him with things for his wife. When he wanted me to help him pick out intimate apparel for her, I was a little suspicious. did he think that I had seen something that I should not have? Frankly I knew her sizes exactly, not because I had intimate knowledge of her sizes , but once you know the least little bit about womens clothing, it really is not that hard. Small women are easier, the larger the girl, the harder it is to estimate some specific sizes. I have also spent a great deal of time and energy, on my own with women of all sizes, purely as an investigation mind you. Once he gave her the presents, I found out that I did guess wrong on some of the colors for that intimate apparel, she doesn’t like green, but I got the cup size exactly. Go figure!

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